International Surrogacy

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Thursday, 26 July 2018 10:49

Our Child Was Created With The Help Of Science, But He Was Born Out Of Love

A real, raw story of what parents go through

In this article by Chucky Bartolo, he takes us through the surrogacy journey ups and downs of a couple in Malta. Their journey differs from  that of surrogacy in Ukraine, in that Ukrainian surrogacy is significantly cheaper. The feelings can be the same. This is one of the reasons Delivering Dreams International Surrogacy provides intended parents with emotional support through a professional of their choice throughout the surrogacy process. This support is included in all our surrogacy packages. It is an essential part of a successful surrogacy journey.

Enjoy the article.

Heated discussions on IVF, embryo freezing and surrogacy have dominated the local media for months, but one new family wanted to give an honest and intimate look at what the process of surrogacy was really like from start to finish. This is their story.

My husband and I are a couple living in Malta who has been through it all to have kids. The final stage on our long journey was to turn to surrogacy. Both of us were fertile, but did not have the natural means to have children, so we had to find an egg donor and a gestational surrogate to make our dream a reality.

Before getting into the details of the procedure, we are excited to announce that today we are blessed with a healthy child who brings much joy to our lives, as well as to our friends and families. All of us now get to experience the happiness a child so loved is able to give and receive back.

Admittedly, at the start of the process I had mixed feelings about surrogacy and the fear that we were 'exploiting' women was a genuine concern. Tabloid stories of surrogate mothers who have a sudden change of heart go viral and unfortunately become the basis for policymakers who argue that surrogacy is immoral and should be made illegal. But as with most things, a little research and a lot of understanding goes a long way. 

Through the power of social media we found groups where would-be parents and surrogate mothers talk openly and honestly about their experiences. Slowly we began to realise there are women out there who love being pregnant but not necessarily want to be part of these children's lives. 

Some women even felt they their purpose in life was to give families who couldn't the possibility of having a child. 

At this point you're probably dying to ask: "Why didn't you just go for adoption? There are so many children who would love a home." A fair question, but my reply will always be: "Why does no ask this question to a pregnant couple whose child is biologically theirs?"

The second, follow-up question also has an easy answer. Yes, these women who offer to be surrogates are often generously compensated, an arrangement which is important and regulated by very specific laws.

Choosing a surrogate is more than skimming through a MaltaPark page and picking at random. It's a long process of selection, and even after you've made a decision on who you'd like as a surrogate, they have to want to carry a child for you. The decision must be mutual, and the whole process is managed by an overseas agency. 

All these factors combined show how unfair it is to state that the women's womb is being treated as a simple commodity. It's also unfair to insinuate that the child will have a problematic up bring. If a couple is ready to face all sorts of obstacles to bring a child into this world, imagine how committed and able these parents are to ensure that the child is brought up in the most loving way possible. 

"Our story started with two heavy disappointments."

In our case, the surrogate mother to be is married to another woman, and that they together raise two pre-teen kids who are biologically related to the surrogate mother (Surro). This was going to be her first surrogacy experience and was happy to do it for a couple who could not have children naturally. The wife of the surrogate, as well as the children, were informed and supportive of her doing this. 

Following our first online meeting organized through the agency, we ended the call and each had to decide whether we'd like to proceed with the journey together or not. After a painfully slow couple of days waiting to hear from the agency, we finally received the 'yes' we were hoping for. 

Once the surrogate agrees, the legal and contractual obligations kick in in the form of a heavily worded contract. As the parents, we paid both our legal fees, and those of the surrogate... and the costs were exorbitant to say the least. Soon after the contract is drawn up the medical process starts. In our case the entire process took roughly 15 months before she became successfully pregnant.

Our story started with two heavy disappointments. After flying the surrogate overseas (together with her wife), booking accommodation for them and paying for all clinical expenses, lost wages and child care fees the first attempted implant was unsuccessful. 

As soon as it was safe for her to try again we repeated the process, and the costs, but the second attempt was also an unsuccessful one. We were extremely disappointed, and the surrogate herself was also hurt, feeling like she had completely let us down.

At this point I was ready to call it a day. We had tried everything we could but it wasn't working. Thankfully my husband is a hard-headed piece of work, and because we are lucky enough to have the financial means to do so, we gave it one final shot. 

"If I knew exactly what we would be going through, I would have probably refused to believe we were capable to handle it all."

Perhaps there's some truth to 'third time lucky', because on this final attempt one of the five healthy embryos transferred actually managed to develop. There are no words to describe the excitement we felt that our life-changing journey was about to begin.  

During the pregnancy, we kept each other in the loop through Facebook and the slew of medical and personal bills that kept coming our way. It was a nerve-wrecking experience, especially for my husband who is a micro-manager, to not be physically present throughout it all, making sure she was eating the right food and not stressing herself too much. 

On the other hand it was also a test of faith in humanity for us. The fact that the surrogate was a very calm and composed woman made life a little bit easier. 

Her due date grew closer, and 10 days before she was expecting we landed in her country. Her life kept going as it always had; she went to work, took care of her kids, and visited the gynae, but this time with us in tow.

If waiting for a day felt like an age back in Malta, it now felt like each hour lasted even longer than that. The due date came and left, but the baby wasn't ready to come out.

These new levels of anticipation went on for an entire extra week. After a whole day waiting for the induced birth to kick in, the hospital informed us that her water broke at 10:00pm. The whole thing was an experience we will never forget. 

My husband cried and I stood there in pure bewilderment as we were asked to cut the umbilical chord. A miracle had just taken place right in front of our eyes. 

At this point most families would be able to spend some quality time relaxing with and showering their child with love. But for us, things were a little more complicated. We had to be the ones to register the birth, transfer guardianship to us through a Court Order and make arrangements for the newborn’s passport so that we can travel back home. While hoping to be home two weeks after the birth, we were advised by the pediatrician to wait for four, allowing time for all vaccinations. 

Arriving back in Malta with friends and family nervously waiting to greet our new child was the most overwhelming feeling I have ever felt in my entire life. Even writing this now is making my throat burn and my eyes well up. It felt like all the stress and anxiety which was bottling up inside of me had to be released all at once. 

If I knew exactly what we would be going through, I would have probably refused to believe we were capable to handle it all. But this little and seemingly fragile child of ours gave us the strength that we never thought we had. 

This little child of ours is growing by the day. Soon they will ask questions we'll gladly answer. We are not afraid of how the child will look at us because they will know how loved they are. 

Our child's creation was done with the help of science, but he was born out of love.

Learn more about international surrogacy:

Delivering Dreams helps couples throughout the US struggling with infertility have children. Located in NJ and Kyiv, Ukraine, our amazing medical facilities and professionals, surrogates and donors are in Ukraine, because Ukrainian law protects the rights of parents and their children from inception at affordable costs and high success rates.

Unique to Delivering Dreams, we offer guaranteed not to exceed, all-inclusive pricing and contracts under US law to provide prospective parents legal and financial security.

1 in 6 couples are struggling with infertility. You are not alone. We want to be your path to parenthood.

Would you like to learn more? Please contact us to share your challenges, ask questions and discuss solutions. This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it., 1.908.386.3864.

International surrogacy made simple!

Our upcoming book, “Successful Surrogacy: Your Guide to Realizing Your Dreams of Parenthood Through Ukrainian Surrogacy” reveals the process, details and answers to empower you to start your Ukrainian Surrogacy Journey and ensure it will be an affordable, secure and happy experience.

Pre-Order your advance copy today! Our book is FREE, but the results will be PRICELESS!

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We have been very satisfied, I have been comfortable at the clinic and with my doctor. I was heard. I could ask any questions. I like you have hu-mor, despite the circumstances. Great clinic. Your service has been very good. You have been a huge support and very spacious. You have been available 24 hours a day. You have the answer to all the questions we have been asked. You have accommodated our nervousness, you have rejoiced with us, you have been there throughout. I could not have wished ...
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A and S
The communication with surrogate is easy and better than what we expected. The updates are provided as scheduled with occasional surprises
S
The support was great. It was easy on us that the coordination was done by the delivering dreams team while being completely transparent with us on the progress. The communication with the delivering dreams team was always fast, responsive, and easy.
E and K
Thank you kate. You have been great today and all the other days ❤ you are a great team. We are very satisfied and happy for your help.
Sonny
We were confident before in our choice, but this experience has confirmed beyond any doubt that we choose the best agency.
Doyles
I loved working with Susan and her team and highly recommend them to anyone considering her services. She's is great at every aspect of a process and knows how to handle delicate matters.
Diana Lyakhovetska
Susan truly understands the needs of parents using surrogacy, and offers comprehensive emotional support to parents as they experience the journey!
Christine Hughes Pontier
The team at Delivering Dreams is amazing! Their attention to detail and ability to put your mind at ease while growing your family is like none other. They handled everything for us, and I never once doubted they would help us accomplish our dreams.
Margaret Jones
I’ve known Susan for several years now, and I’ve always been impressed by her attention to her clients’ needs. I’ve known her to work ardently and diligently to solve whatever challenges, no matter how unique, that prevent her clients from completing their families. She is a problem-solver, and she earnestly believes in providing the best options and in making surrogacy opportunities realities: this is not merely a business for Susan. She will help customize the process for your needs and to ...
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Mary Woods
Susan has a keen sense of business and goes to the max to solve her clients’ problems. She is super knowledgeable on business, laws and how things work in surrogacy in general, and specifically on Ukrainian surrogacy. She is an advocate for transparency in a market that’s often opaque and full of hidden risks. I really enjoyed working with Susan. She really pays attention to detail and was always looking out for my best interest above all. Highly recommend!
Laurie Tham
Delivering Dreams goes above and beyond what other surrogacy agencies offer. After speaking with Susan, I see how they anticipate every part of the process, down to details that I had never even considered. I didn’t know what I didn’t know! Surrogacy can be really complicated and confusing. What an amazing sense of relief to have a company so dedicated to managing the WHOLE process and taking away as much of the stress as possible.
Kate Varness
I have gotten to know Susan through a group where we are members. I have found her to be a genuine and caring person. Her consideration for others and love of her work with Ukrainian surrogates and parents-to-be are evident in all her decision making. She is passionate about being a force for the greater good and helping where she can. I have been amazed at the way she is able to smoothly navigate the complicated maze of requirements in the surrogacy process. I am happy to give her my highest...
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Rose Anne Barbour Huck
Susan Kibler is kind.  She clearly loves those she works with and loves what she does.  Susan listens deeply and compassionately and can make you laugh all in the space of one conversation.  She is wonderful!  If you are feeling worried, she'll hear you.  If you have questions, she will find answers for you. If you need help, she does her very best to support you.  I feel so fortunate to have found her and imagine you will too.
Frances Russell
Susan has the ability to really connect on a personal level quickly.  I have found her easy to talk to and have been so grateful for her guidance.  She is one of those people who offers so much to her clients.  She sees the big picture and has a heart for the most intimate concerns.  She is highly skilled and able to manage what can certainly be challenging and uncomfortable experiences, making them feel easier.  She will take charge at the perfect times and guide you when you really need her...
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Susan Seare
The international surrogacy world is complicated. Susan Kibler knows its ins-and-outs. She knows the people and outfits you can trust and the ones to avoid. She insists on the best for her clients and handles the details so they don't have to worry about them. If you want to take the international surrogacy journey, you can trust Delivering Dreams International Surrogacy Agency to guide you on that path.
Nancy Linnerooth
My friend and I had a positive experience working with Susan. Susan is always super responsive and caring. She is very professional, helpful and reliable. My friend has soo much troubles trying having a baby for many years. My friend and her husband were about to give up their dream of having a baby. Susan Kersch Kibler found the way to help. She has unlimited energy, attentive to detail and super efficient. Great to work with!
Polina Clend
Susan is passionate about helping people become families. She is a trustworthy confidant to have on your side.
Kristen Ancker
Our experience with Delivering Dreams has been overwhelmingly positive. The team seems to be genuinely dedicated to helping us to realize our dream of having a child. The constant communication leading up to the trip and the numerous touch points made us feel comforted in what has been a very challenging and uncomfortable situation. We always had streamlined communication through the group chat and was frequently checked on during our stay.
Marilyn

Under Ukrainian law, surrogacy is a legal affordable option for traditionally married couples to have children using their own embryos, or with either an egg or sperm donor. There must be a medical reason you can’t carry a child. You are also able to participate if you have had 4 unsuccessful IVF attempts.

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Under Ukrainian law, surrogacy is a legal affordable option for traditionally married couples to have children using their own embryos, or with either an egg or sperm donor. There must be a medical reason you can’t carry a child. You are also able to participate if you have had 4 unsuccessful IVF attempts.