International Surrogacy

Search in blog

Shop By

  • Keyword
  • Release date
  • Tags

Search in blog mobile

Shop By

  • Keyword
  • Release date
  • Tags
Saturday, 14 November 2020 09:23

I Just Wanted a Baby, But Surrogacy Gave Me So Much More

When I started telling people I was having a baby with a gestational surrogate, the responses ranged from awkwardly supportive to just awkward. A woman at a party congratulated me, praised me for being so clever, so ahead of the times. “Ugh, you’re brilliant,” she told me. I’d have someone else do the dirty work of motherhood for me. Genius.

Others wanted me to know I was in good company: Kim Kardashian had just been through the process. So had Gabrielle Union. And Andy Cohen. And now me!

My traditional Indian mother, fiercely private and surprisingly sneaky, had another idea. She thought it might be better if we made up a story that the baby was adopted. “People aren’t going to understand this,” she said.

Misguided, to be sure, but my mother (as usual) had a point: There is still an incredible amount of secrecy around the gestational surrogacy process. And wherever there is silence, stigma isn’t far behind. It’s for rich people, it’s immoral, it’s dystopian, it’s exploitative…

I know that these are just a few of the thoughts swirling in people’s heads when I tell them that this month a woman named Amber in Kansas will deliver my son. For me, and for countless other families who struggle with fertility, surrogacy isn’t a luxury or shortcut: It’s the light at the end of a very long and lonely tunnel.

The first time I got pregnant, I had just started running for Public Advocate in New York City. It was unexpected, but welcome news. My husband, Nihal, and I were so excited. We told family and friends with abandon (12-week rule be damned!). We changed our destination wedding date so I wouldn’t have to travel in the third trimester. That was almost eight years ago, and we were blissfully, naively unaware of what was ahead of us.

I remember fantasizing about being pregnant while running for office. I imagined how I would march my big fat, swollen feet all over the five boroughs knocking on doors. I would be a symbol of feminine power on the campaign trail: a knocked-up Rosie the Riveter. My baby would be a born public servant, just like me.

When we went to the doctor for our first appointment and saw the solemn look on her face, we didn’t understand. We were no strangers to failure. I had publicly bombed a race for Congress two years before. Nihal, an entrepreneur, had learned resilience from running start-ups. But this was supposed to be easy. Isn’t this what we were born to do? We were shocked that something like this could happen, that we could lose our baby.

Two nights later I put on a brave face and got on stage to introduce President Obama at a fundraiser. It should have been the best night of my life, but I was dying inside, literally, the entire time.

Six months later I miscarried again, hours before I was slated to give a huge pitch for my nonprofit to the “who’s who” of New York City. My job was to be dazzling. I felt so much rage knowing it was easier to betray myself and go through the motions than to admit why I couldn’t.

Since then, my morbid joke is that all of the major achievements in my career have been punctuated by miscarriages. Land a TED Talk? Lose another baby.

For years I suffered in silence, feeling like a fraud. I published a book about female leadership and launched one of the largest girl-empowerment nonprofits in the country. Glossy women’s magazines hailed me as an inspiration—not least because of my openness about failure. But in private, I was living out a constant trauma that I didn’t know how to talk about.

When the kind gentlemen offered me his seat on the subway thinking I was pregnant, I didn’t say, “Oh no, sir, that’s just the 15 pounds I gained from successive failed pregnancies and IVF drugs.” I nodded politely and took the seat, holding back tears.

And when I walked into staff meetings with bloodshot eyes because I’d been awake all night, down a rabbit hole of fertility blogs, looking for comfort in statistics about IVF success rates (I didn’t find any), I didn’t tell anyone what was going on.

There is an incredible amount of shame surrounding infertility. For women who spend our entire lives trying to do everything perfectly, being unable to conceive, or carry, or deliver, or breastfeed children makes us feel inherently, fundamentally broken. At times I thought to myself I would rather tell someone I had a terminal illness than tell them I had a miscarriage. At least that wouldn’t be my fault. My failure.

Almost five years ago we were blessed to have our first son, Shaan. He was everything we had been dreaming of. At the same time, as we struggled just as hard to have a second child, it became even more difficult to talk about. Now we were just being spoiled, right? Why didn’t we just quit while we were ahead? But I knew our family wasn’t complete, and so we continued to fight.

I should point out that not everyone can afford to: At tens of thousands of dollars per IVF cycle, it’s no wonder that assisted reproduction is often viewed as an option available to the privileged few. But fertility is also a privilege.

In 2018 we were able to create a viable embryo. A boy. At 42 years old I finally had to look my inner perfectionist in the face and say: You cannot carry this baby. His life depends on it.

And that’s when Amber came into our lives. We first met her on a website, sent to us by the agency. From the looks of it, her family was everything ours was not. She had four children of her own already. We were Indian, they were white. We were blue state, they were…well, we didn’t want to ask.

Over the course of the pregnancy, we’ve bonded over the enormity of the life we are creating together, as well as the little things. Amber’s husband, Tim, learned to cook Indian food; I rode a dirt bike for the first time.

At one point last summer, watching Shaan play in the cornfields behind Amber’s house alongside her own children, our husbands standing over the grill laughing, it occurred to me how ironic it was that that so much heartbreak and isolation could have brought us here, to this place brimming over with love.

I entered the surrogacy process to have a son, and what I found was a sister, a family, and a renewed belief that people are fundamentally good. And at a time when we are so divided as a country, an unshakable conviction that we are, basically, the same. In short: I found love.

Source: https://www.vogue.com/

Learn More About International Surrogacy In Ukraine:

Delivering Dreams helps couples throughout the world struggling with infertility have children. Located in NJ and Kyiv and Lviv, Ukraine, our amazing medical facilities and professionals, surrogates and donors are in Ukraine, because Ukrainian law protects the rights of parents and their children from inception at affordable costs and high success rates.

Unique to Delivering Dreams, we offer guaranteed not to exceed, all-inclusive pricing and contracts under US law to provide prospective parents legal and financial security.1 in 6 couples are struggling with infertility.

You are not alone. We want to be your path to parenthood.

Would you like to learn more?

Please contact us to share your challenges, ask questions and discuss solutions.

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it., www.Delivering-Dreams.com and www.international-surrogacy.com, 1.908.386.3864

International surrogacy made simple!

Read 401 times

Testimonials

We have been very satisfied, I have been comfortable at the clinic and with my doctor. I was heard. I could ask any questions. I like you have hu-mor, despite the circumstances. Great clinic. Your service has been very good. You have been a huge support and very spacious. You have been available 24 hours a day. You have the answer to all the questions we have been asked. You have accommodated our nervousness, you have rejoiced with us, you have been there throughout. I could not have wished ...
Read more
A and S
The communication with surrogate is easy and better than what we expected. The updates are provided as scheduled with occasional surprises
S
The support was great. It was easy on us that the coordination was done by the delivering dreams team while being completely transparent with us on the progress. The communication with the delivering dreams team was always fast, responsive, and easy.
E and K
Thank you kate. You have been great today and all the other days ❤ you are a great team. We are very satisfied and happy for your help.
Sonny
We were confident before in our choice, but this experience has confirmed beyond any doubt that we choose the best agency.
Doyles
I loved working with Susan and her team and highly recommend them to anyone considering her services. She's is great at every aspect of a process and knows how to handle delicate matters.
Diana Lyakhovetska
Susan truly understands the needs of parents using surrogacy, and offers comprehensive emotional support to parents as they experience the journey!
Christine Hughes Pontier
The team at Delivering Dreams is amazing! Their attention to detail and ability to put your mind at ease while growing your family is like none other. They handled everything for us, and I never once doubted they would help us accomplish our dreams.
Margaret Jones
I’ve known Susan for several years now, and I’ve always been impressed by her attention to her clients’ needs. I’ve known her to work ardently and diligently to solve whatever challenges, no matter how unique, that prevent her clients from completing their families. She is a problem-solver, and she earnestly believes in providing the best options and in making surrogacy opportunities realities: this is not merely a business for Susan. She will help customize the process for your needs and to ...
Read more
Mary Woods
Susan has a keen sense of business and goes to the max to solve her clients’ problems. She is super knowledgeable on business, laws and how things work in surrogacy in general, and specifically on Ukrainian surrogacy. She is an advocate for transparency in a market that’s often opaque and full of hidden risks. I really enjoyed working with Susan. She really pays attention to detail and was always looking out for my best interest above all. Highly recommend!
Laurie Tham
Delivering Dreams goes above and beyond what other surrogacy agencies offer. After speaking with Susan, I see how they anticipate every part of the process, down to details that I had never even considered. I didn’t know what I didn’t know! Surrogacy can be really complicated and confusing. What an amazing sense of relief to have a company so dedicated to managing the WHOLE process and taking away as much of the stress as possible.
Kate Varness
I have gotten to know Susan through a group where we are members. I have found her to be a genuine and caring person. Her consideration for others and love of her work with Ukrainian surrogates and parents-to-be are evident in all her decision making. She is passionate about being a force for the greater good and helping where she can. I have been amazed at the way she is able to smoothly navigate the complicated maze of requirements in the surrogacy process. I am happy to give her my highest...
Read more
Rose Anne Barbour Huck
Susan Kibler is kind.  She clearly loves those she works with and loves what she does.  Susan listens deeply and compassionately and can make you laugh all in the space of one conversation.  She is wonderful!  If you are feeling worried, she'll hear you.  If you have questions, she will find answers for you. If you need help, she does her very best to support you.  I feel so fortunate to have found her and imagine you will too.
Frances Russell
Susan has the ability to really connect on a personal level quickly.  I have found her easy to talk to and have been so grateful for her guidance.  She is one of those people who offers so much to her clients.  She sees the big picture and has a heart for the most intimate concerns.  She is highly skilled and able to manage what can certainly be challenging and uncomfortable experiences, making them feel easier.  She will take charge at the perfect times and guide you when you really need her...
Read more
Susan Seare
The international surrogacy world is complicated. Susan Kibler knows its ins-and-outs. She knows the people and outfits you can trust and the ones to avoid. She insists on the best for her clients and handles the details so they don't have to worry about them. If you want to take the international surrogacy journey, you can trust Delivering Dreams International Surrogacy Agency to guide you on that path.
Nancy Linnerooth
My friend and I had a positive experience working with Susan. Susan is always super responsive and caring. She is very professional, helpful and reliable. My friend has soo much troubles trying having a baby for many years. My friend and her husband were about to give up their dream of having a baby. Susan Kersch Kibler found the way to help. She has unlimited energy, attentive to detail and super efficient. Great to work with!
Polina Clend
Susan is passionate about helping people become families. She is a trustworthy confidant to have on your side.
Kristen Ancker
Our experience with Delivering Dreams has been overwhelmingly positive. The team seems to be genuinely dedicated to helping us to realize our dream of having a child. The constant communication leading up to the trip and the numerous touch points made us feel comforted in what has been a very challenging and uncomfortable situation. We always had streamlined communication through the group chat and was frequently checked on during our stay.
Marilyn

Under Ukrainian law, surrogacy is a legal affordable option for traditionally married couples to have children using their own embryos, or with either an egg or sperm donor. There must be a medical reason you can’t carry a child. You are also able to participate if you have had 4 unsuccessful IVF attempts.

CONTACT US

Under Ukrainian law, surrogacy is a legal affordable option for traditionally married couples to have children using their own embryos, or with either an egg or sperm donor. There must be a medical reason you can’t carry a child. You are also able to participate if you have had 4 unsuccessful IVF attempts.