Sunday, 17 February 2019 11:16

#3 “You Should Try…”

By Kelsey. T. Chun MFT

I know that giving a friend unsolicited advice on what to try or which doctor to see is absolutely well-intentioned. We hate to see our loved ones suffering, and we want to do whatever we can to alleviate their suffering. But when people offer unsolicited suggestions, it not only leaves those suffering from infertility feeling unseen and unheard (yet again), but such comments also fail to recognize how much emotional energy and effort any attempted solution takes.

Well-meaning tips can’t just be implemented at the snap of her fingers. Each doctor or medical procedure, however small or simple, requires time and wait lists. Even natural means, like changing one’s diet and lifestyle factors (which my husband and I used)—though good for your overall health, free, and non-invasive—take considerable effort, intentionality, and time to see effects. Moreover, every possible or attempted tip or solution requires the couple to do research and get their hopes up that it will help—and it can be incredibly devastating if and when it doesn’t work. If your friend asks for tips or advice, that’s another story. Feel free to share knowledge on the topic, that doctor you saw, or that book you read if she solicits such advice.

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