International Surrogacy

Search in blog

Shop By

  • Keyword
  • Release date
  • Tags

Search in blog

Shop By

  • Keyword
  • Release date
  • Tags
Friday, 29 June 2018 09:48

It made me feel less of a man knowing I may never be a dad’: the hidden trauma of male infertility. Consider Ukrainian Surrogacy

Consider Ukrainian Surrogacy Consider Ukrainian Surrogacy

Published by the Conversation

There has been a lot of alarm in recent years about the declining fertility rates of Western men and the potential problems this may pose.
It is estimated that infertility affects one in six heterosexual couples, making it a common issue for those of reproductive age. For 40% of couples who can’t conceive, the problem lies with the man. But despite this, fertility remains something that is traditionally viewed as a “woman’s problem”, with male infertility rarely spoken about.

This focus solely on women’s bodies and perspectives, often leaves men feeling unable to speak out or even talk about their own infertility and the impact it has had upon their lives. And our previous research has shown infertility can be a very difficult and stressful experience for men to go through. Many men find fertility diagnosis and treatment highly traumatic. A time which was often likened to a “rollercoaster” – with a lot of men reporting feelings of sadness and despair.
Our latest study has built upon these findings to delve deeper into men’s experiences. And we found that many men were deeply affected by infertility – with some identifying it to be the most difficult experience of their lives.

Getting to the truth

Working with Fertility Network UK – the national fertility charity – we designed and distributed a questionnaire with a series of open-ended questions which allowed men anonymously to tell us about their infertility journeys.

Despite infertility still being seen as a taboo topic for men, we received a large number of completed questionnaires, offering rich, detailed accounts. Most respondents said it had affected their psychological well-being, mentioning anxiety, depression and stress-related ill health in their accounts.

In this way, the inability to conceive was often likened to grief, and many of the men felt that it took time and considerable emotional energy to manage such feelings of loss. One man explained how it had impacted his life:
It’s in our DNA to make babies. That’s the purpose of sex when you are older is to make babies. It made me feel worthless that I couldn’t have kids.

Many respondents framed the impact in gendered terms, which is perhaps to be expected given the traditional associations between masculinity, fertility and fatherhood. One man said:
It made me feel less of a man at the time knowing I may never father a child.

This sense of emasculation was compounded by the widespread assumption that reproduction for men is a simple, natural process – as another man detailed:
For a while I thought less of myself as a person and as a man. I felt it was nature’s way of telling me there is something wrong with me and that’s why I am not able to have kids.
Such challenges to men’s identities – which are linked to dominant ideals of masculinity – can be difficult and often make men feel further isolated when dealing with fertility issues.

Silence and stigma

Clearly, an ongoing stigma surrounding men and infertility contributes to men’s suffering. And this leads to many men coping with infertility in silence. Infertility can also create challenges within relationships between couples, further adding to the burden many men feel.

But the situation is slowly beginning to change, with more men coming forward to tell their stories and share experiences – often on online support forums. Using these online spaces to get help and advice is often valued by men, not only because they are anonymous, but also because many men find it hard to get support “in real life”.

In this way, sharing with others who understand and have been through similar experiences can help men feel less isolated. And it can also provide support, understanding and camaraderie not encountered (or sought) in their interactions within health care settings.

But ultimately, as our research shows, men’s perspectives and emotions need to be recognised more during the process of fertility diagnosis and treatment. And more should be done to make sure they are well supported and given advice that is gender sensitive.

By starting conversations and educating people about fertility, it will become easier for men to speak out and to access the support they may need when going through a highly emotional and challenging time in their lives. This is important because the silence that exists around infertility in society is very real and can be very damaging for so many men.

Learn more about international surrogacy

Delivering Dreams helps couples throughout the US struggling with infertility have children. Located in NJ and Kyiv, Ukraine, our amazing medical facilities and professionals, surrogates and donors are in Ukraine, because Ukrainian law protects the rights of parents and their children from inception at affordable costs and high success rates.

Unique to Delivering Dreams, we offer guaranteed not to exceed, all-inclusive pricing and contracts under US law to provide prospective parents legal and financial security.
1 in 6 couples are struggling with infertility. You are not alone. We want to be your path to parenthood.

Would you like to learn more? Please contact us to share your challenges, ask questions and discuss solutions. Set up a “get acquainted call”. This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.,, 1.908.386.3864.
International surrogacy made simple!

Our upcoming book, “Successful Surrogacy: Your Guide to Realizing Your Dreams of Parenthood Through Ukrainian Surrogacy” reveals the process, details and answers to embower you to start your Ukrainian Surrogacy Journey and ensure it will be an affordable, secure and happy experience.

Order your advance copy today! Our book is FREE, but the results will be PRICELESS!

Read 1285 times

Under Ukrainian law, surrogacy is a legal affordable option for traditionally married couples to have children using their own embryos, or with either an egg or sperm donor. There must be a medical reason you can’t carry a child. You are also able to participate if you have had 4 unsuccessful IVF attempts.


Under Ukrainian law, surrogacy is a legal affordable option for traditionally married couples to have children using their own embryos, or with either an egg or sperm donor. There must be a medical reason you can’t carry a child. You are also able to participate if you have had 4 unsuccessful IVF attempts.