International Surrogacy

Search in blog

Shop By

  • Keyword
  • Release date
  • Tags

Search in blog mobile

Shop By

  • Keyword
  • Release date
  • Tags
Monday, 12 November 2018 06:07

Pageant speaks out

When people used to ask Mrs. North Carolina Nichelle Sublett why she hadn’t had children yet, she would force a smile and lie. She thought her infertility story was shameful, embarrassing, difficult. Being unable to get pregnant made her feel like she was a failure at motherhood, at being a wife, she said.

The Charlotte resident avoided a lot of otherwise awkward conversations with a “well, hopefully someday,” response.

Then in one moment, she knew that she not only needed to begin telling her truth — that she wanted children desperately and had been unable to have them yet — but she needed to do it so loudly the whole world could hear.

The first time she told her story out loud was in a social media post she’d written months before she shared it. “I always knew I would eventually tell my story,” she said. “I just figured it would be after I had the ‘perfect’ family — the two kids and a dog.”

The more she thought about it, the less it made sense to wait to share her story only after a happily-ever-after. “There’s a lot of power and resilience in the middle of it,” she said. “After I pressed enter on Instagram, I immediately felt like I was running around naked and like everyone knew my deepest, darkest secrets.”

The response was overwhelmingly so good that she has started the hashtag #StartAsking in hopes that others will share their stories. She wants to educate the public on what not to say to women or couples that may not want to discuss their fertility challenges. She wants to help women find their voices to start asking their doctors questions earlier.

She also wants to bring awareness to the fact that black women suffer from infertility issues.

“It’s a common misconception that African-American women don’t have problems with fertility. In fact, African-American women suffer from more infertility problems than our Caucasian sisters,” she said. Studies on infertility are often conducted with affluent white couples. 

Her fertility journey

Sublett and her husband got married in 2013. She was 30 when they got married, and she said in being mindful of her age, she stopped taking the pill right away.

After difficulty getting pregnant, Sublett was eventually diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), a health condition that affects about 10 million women worldwide. PCOS is a leading cause of fertility problems. She said it was difficult for doctors to diagnose as she doesn’t fit the profile of a PCOS candidate. September is PCOS Awareness Month; learn more about the symptoms here.

Clomiphene and letrozole are among drugs that have been recommended for PCOS patients to take when trying to get pregnant. Sublett has tried them both.

In fact, she has tried it all, she said. She’s tried yoga, acupuncture, even mantras. She’s tried gluten-free and dairy-free diets. She’s had Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) treatments and In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). She’s become pregnant naturally.

She’s actually been pregnant five times and she said it has felt like a miracle each time. After the excitement of hearing heartbeats, she’s faced the devastating grief of miscarriages.

Competing for Mrs. North Carolina title

One time Sublett found out she was pregnant was after she had decided to compete in the Mrs. North Carolina pageant. She wondered if she should still compete, but before she could decide, she had a miscarriage and a dilation and curettage (d&c), a procedure sometimes performed after a first-trimester miscarriage. She spent the weeks before the pageant grieving and crying, not going to the gym or preparing for the pageant like she had planned. The night of the pageant, she was still bleeding from her d&c and she was wearing a white gown — she said the entire experience was surreal but it all worked out.

When she was crowned Mrs. North Carolina 2018, she knew immediately she had to use this new platform for her voice to be heard.

“The moment that changed me, when I knew I had to speak out about the situation, was after I was crowned Mrs. North Carolina,” she said. Her unsuccessful run for Mrs. America last month only expanded her reach.

“During my interviews from Mrs. North Carolina, I spent time speaking to each judge about how passionate I was to get my infertility story out into the public. I wanted to put a face and a voice to this disease and also show people that women of color suffer from this disease as well,” Sublett said.

Speaking out loud

In addition to her #StartAsking hashtag, Sublett has become involved in support groups including Resolve, Fertility For Colored Girls and Moms In The Making. “When someone can share that experience, there’s something powerful in that,” she said. “I’ve found good friends for life through these support groups.”

She’s also working on a podcast called #StartAsking, which she hopes to debut in the winter, where she will interview other women about their own infertility struggles.

She wants to educate the general public on what not to say:

  • Don’t ask someone when he or she is going to have kids, she said.
  • Don’t ask someone why he or she doesn’t have kids yet.
  • Don’t ask a woman how long each of her pregnancies lasted.
  • If a couple gets married, rather than jumping right into the children questions — just tell them congratulations.
  • If someone has a boy, don’t ask when she is having a girl.
  • Don’t ask someone why he or she only has one child. Don’t say: “You should just adopt. So many kids need to be adopted.”
  • Don’t tell a woman: “At least you know you can get pregnant.”
  • Don’t tell a woman to stop stressing and thinking about it, because that’s when pregnancy will happen.
  • Don’t tell a woman not to wait too long. “There’s so much pressure and societal expectations — that’s a zinger every time a woman hears that,” she said.

One challenge with sharing her story publicly has been all the unwanted medical advice, she said. “Everyone has a sister or cousin who went through this,” she said, so naturally, people want to offer suggestions. They mean well, but Sublett said she’s most likely tried it all. However, the benefits outweigh. “We’ve had an outpouring of love and support. People rally behind us as a couple now.”

In her personal journey, Sublett and her husband have five embryos left, and they are deciding whether Sublett should attempt another IVF transfer or whether the couple should consider a surrogate. IVF is expensive and painful, she said, and it includes hormones and patches and painful injections in the backside over many weeks. “I go back and forth with whether I can do this again,” she said. “I’m trying to get my mind right.” 

In the meantime, Sublett hopes that by sharing her story, she can help inform other women who may one day want to have children. If she had known in her 20s what she knows now, she said she would have frozen her eggs then. She hopes that other women will feel confident to share their fertility journeys, and she hopes that more public awareness will inform younger women to begin asking their doctors questions sooner and hopefully getting good results.

“It’s been really therapeutic for me, finding something positive in this. Being able to share and talk about it, helps heal me versus having it bottled up so long — it just weighed on me even more,” Sublett said, thought it’s still a daily struggle. “When you keep talking about it over and over, you don’t break down in tears anymore. It’s getting easier to say ‘This is what’s happened, this is what’s going on and this is how I’ve grown.’”

Read 1283 times

Testimonials

We have been very satisfied, I have been comfortable at the clinic and with my doctor. I was heard. I could ask any questions. I like you have hu-mor, despite the circumstances. Great clinic. Your service has been very good. You have been a huge support and very spacious. You have been available 24 hours a day. You have the answer to all the questions we have been asked. You have accommodated our nervousness, you have rejoiced with us, you have been there throughout. I could not have wished ...
Read more
A and S
The communication with surrogate is easy and better than what we expected. The updates are provided as scheduled with occasional surprises
S
The support was great. It was easy on us that the coordination was done by the delivering dreams team while being completely transparent with us on the progress. The communication with the delivering dreams team was always fast, responsive, and easy.
E and K
Thank you kate. You have been great today and all the other days ❤ you are a great team. We are very satisfied and happy for your help.
Sonny
We were confident before in our choice, but this experience has confirmed beyond any doubt that we choose the best agency.
Doyles
I loved working with Susan and her team and highly recommend them to anyone considering her services. She's is great at every aspect of a process and knows how to handle delicate matters.
Diana Lyakhovetska
Susan truly understands the needs of parents using surrogacy, and offers comprehensive emotional support to parents as they experience the journey!
Christine Hughes Pontier
The team at Delivering Dreams is amazing! Their attention to detail and ability to put your mind at ease while growing your family is like none other. They handled everything for us, and I never once doubted they would help us accomplish our dreams.
Margaret Jones
I’ve known Susan for several years now, and I’ve always been impressed by her attention to her clients’ needs. I’ve known her to work ardently and diligently to solve whatever challenges, no matter how unique, that prevent her clients from completing their families. She is a problem-solver, and she earnestly believes in providing the best options and in making surrogacy opportunities realities: this is not merely a business for Susan. She will help customize the process for your needs and to ...
Read more
Mary Woods
Susan has a keen sense of business and goes to the max to solve her clients’ problems. She is super knowledgeable on business, laws and how things work in surrogacy in general, and specifically on Ukrainian surrogacy. She is an advocate for transparency in a market that’s often opaque and full of hidden risks. I really enjoyed working with Susan. She really pays attention to detail and was always looking out for my best interest above all. Highly recommend!
Laurie Tham
Delivering Dreams goes above and beyond what other surrogacy agencies offer. After speaking with Susan, I see how they anticipate every part of the process, down to details that I had never even considered. I didn’t know what I didn’t know! Surrogacy can be really complicated and confusing. What an amazing sense of relief to have a company so dedicated to managing the WHOLE process and taking away as much of the stress as possible.
Kate Varness
I have gotten to know Susan through a group where we are members. I have found her to be a genuine and caring person. Her consideration for others and love of her work with Ukrainian surrogates and parents-to-be are evident in all her decision making. She is passionate about being a force for the greater good and helping where she can. I have been amazed at the way she is able to smoothly navigate the complicated maze of requirements in the surrogacy process. I am happy to give her my highest...
Read more
Rose Anne Barbour Huck
Susan Kibler is kind.  She clearly loves those she works with and loves what she does.  Susan listens deeply and compassionately and can make you laugh all in the space of one conversation.  She is wonderful!  If you are feeling worried, she'll hear you.  If you have questions, she will find answers for you. If you need help, she does her very best to support you.  I feel so fortunate to have found her and imagine you will too.
Frances Russell
Susan has the ability to really connect on a personal level quickly.  I have found her easy to talk to and have been so grateful for her guidance.  She is one of those people who offers so much to her clients.  She sees the big picture and has a heart for the most intimate concerns.  She is highly skilled and able to manage what can certainly be challenging and uncomfortable experiences, making them feel easier.  She will take charge at the perfect times and guide you when you really need her...
Read more
Susan Seare
The international surrogacy world is complicated. Susan Kibler knows its ins-and-outs. She knows the people and outfits you can trust and the ones to avoid. She insists on the best for her clients and handles the details so they don't have to worry about them. If you want to take the international surrogacy journey, you can trust Delivering Dreams International Surrogacy Agency to guide you on that path.
Nancy Linnerooth
My friend and I had a positive experience working with Susan. Susan is always super responsive and caring. She is very professional, helpful and reliable. My friend has soo much troubles trying having a baby for many years. My friend and her husband were about to give up their dream of having a baby. Susan Kersch Kibler found the way to help. She has unlimited energy, attentive to detail and super efficient. Great to work with!
Polina Clend
Susan is passionate about helping people become families. She is a trustworthy confidant to have on your side.
Kristen Ancker
Our experience with Delivering Dreams has been overwhelmingly positive. The team seems to be genuinely dedicated to helping us to realize our dream of having a child. The constant communication leading up to the trip and the numerous touch points made us feel comforted in what has been a very challenging and uncomfortable situation. We always had streamlined communication through the group chat and was frequently checked on during our stay.
Marilyn

Under Ukrainian law, surrogacy is a legal affordable option for traditionally married couples to have children using their own embryos, or with either an egg or sperm donor. There must be a medical reason you can’t carry a child. You are also able to participate if you have had 4 unsuccessful IVF attempts.

CONTACT US

Under Ukrainian law, surrogacy is a legal affordable option for traditionally married couples to have children using their own embryos, or with either an egg or sperm donor. There must be a medical reason you can’t carry a child. You are also able to participate if you have had 4 unsuccessful IVF attempts.

delivering dreams international surrogacy agencytaxi how muchupdown