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Wednesday, 19 June 2019 07:47

Surrogates Need to Share Their Experiences

Gag orders in surrogacy contracts can scare surrogates from sharing their experiences or agencies, clinics, doctors, etc. This information potentially hurts surrogates by not allowing them to make a truly informed decision about who they should work with. In addition, intended parents don’t get a full picture of the situation. At it’s extreme surrogates are actually kept from IP.

We at Delivering Dreams believe in transparency. We want the best surrogates and encourage them to share their experiences. We want our IP’s to have close contact with their surrogate throughout the pregnancy and entire surrogacy journey.
If someone is hiding something, maybe there is something they need to hide…

Enjoy this article by Alison Motluk

To be clear, we’re not talking about splashing names and addresses and birth dates around in the press: Families deserve some basic privacy. Rather, we’re talking about the systematic muzzling of a surrogate. The woman I wrote about was instructed to tell no one but her immediate family and closest friends what she was up to and, even then, she was instructed to be careful not to disclose details “of any nature” about “activities contemplated or carried out.” Imagine if a husband silenced his pregnant wife, or a doctor silenced a patient in this way.

Confidentiality clauses like these are a danger to the surrogate but, perhaps more importantly, they are a threat to public policy. They should not be permitted. It seems to me that if you want to protect someone you have to know what you are protecting them from. Confidentiality clauses all but guarantee that we will never really know.

In the case I wrote about, the imposed silence could have cost the surrogate her life. Luckily for her, she did communicate with fellow surrogates about the high blood pressure and swelling she was experiencing. They told her to ignore what she was being told by the intended mother of the babies and to head straight to hospital. Requiring a pregnant woman to not talk about her pregnancy – her symptoms, her emotional concerns, her feelings about how she’s being treated during the process – is dangerous to her health. (The babies were delivered the next day, at 28 weeks and 5 days, and the surrogate spent 3 days in the ICU.)

One of the lawmakers’ biggest fears was that surrogates would not be able to part with the children they’d carried. In my experience working in this issue, many surrogates report they do not have great difficulty parting with the babies.

What I have found through my work and research is that surrogacies generally appear to unfold joyfully and without incident. To be honest, stories like these are pretty easy to write about, because when things go well, people toss confidentiality to the wind and go full-on public.

But there are dark stories too. Confidentiality clauses make those stories especially tricky to tell, so you seldom hear them told in any detail.

Sound public policy is based on accurate information. Gagging surrogates hinders the exposing of the facts and evidence. So how can we stop these overbearing confidentiality clauses? I can think of two ways.

One way would be to remind surrogates – through their lawyers primarily, but also through public campaigns, the media, and online chat groups – that they have the right to refuse confidentiality clauses. They can scratch them out of their contracts. (At least one surrogate, “Fern,” reported doing just that.) Contracts can be negotiated; they are not edicts. Surrogates (unlike, for example, freelance journalists, who also find egregious clauses in their contracts) are in the enviable position that they are in short supply and in high demand: they have real bargaining power. They need to know that, and to use that power.

A more straightforward route would be to just write directly into the AHRA that a surrogate cannot be compelled to conceal the details of her surrogacy. California law requires that gestational surrogates have dated contracts and that they receive independent legal advice. If we chose to, we could require those things, as well as an end to blanket confidentiality. Anyone interested in third-party reproduction would have to accept that the third party is a separate, autonomous person who has a right to tell her story.

From an article written by ALISON MOTLUK

Learn More About International Surrogacy In Ukraine:

Delivering Dreams helps couples throughout the world struggling with infertility have children. Located in NJ and Kyiv and Lviv, Ukraine, our amazing medical facilities and professionals, surrogates and donors are in Ukraine, because Ukrainian law protects the rights of parents and their children from inception at affordable costs and high success rates.

Unique to Delivering Dreams, we offer guaranteed not to exceed, all-inclusive pricing and contracts under US law to provide prospective parents legal and financial security.

1 in 6 couples are struggling with infertility. You are not alone. We want to be your path to parenthood.

Would you like to learn more? Please contact us to share your challenges, ask questions and discuss solutions. This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and www.international-surrogacy.com, 1.908.386.3864

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I am very satisfied with the medical services. Coordinator Lyubov was always in touch, answered any questions quickly and clearly, and helped in any difficult situations. The level of personal support and genuine concern for my health and well-being was 100 percent. I am very pleased that I am going through the surrogacy program with this agency. I feel protected and confident. I really like the attitude of the agency, timely payments, and the curator and manager make sure that pregnant girl...
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I am very pleased to meet such beautiful and kind people Hello everyone, I'm Myroslava and I'm going through my SM program at the Delivering Dreams agency. I want to express a big thank you to the girls who cooperate with me, who worry about my condition, who are always in touch, and who always support me - Omelchuk Lyubov and Anna Levchenko. I've already been to a program and therefore I have something to compare it with, this agency and the staff are at the highest level. And also the doct...
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Myroslava
Hallo Oksana,  vielen Dank für Deine ausführliche Erklärung. Wir haben alles gut verstanden. Das zeichnet due Arbeit von Euch und Eurem Ärzteteam aus. So kann man gut vertrauen. Hello Oksana, Thank you very much for your detailed explanation. We understood everything well. This is what distinguishes the work of you and your medical team. This is a good way to trust.
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One of the best teams and my program! Hello! I want to share my experience and my impression of my program, one of the best programs, and the team from the Delivering Dreams Agency! Great attitude, attentive staff, responsible! Always in touch 24/7! Lyubov Omelchuk is a wonderful person, she was with me from the first minute of implantation until the end of the entire program! I am grateful that Lyubov was always with me! People of their word! Staff who never let you down! I highly recommend...
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Anna Priazhnikova
DD is outstanding We have just returned home to California with our beautiful daughter who was born in Lviv. The Delivering Dreams team made our trip so easy and straightforward. From our arrival to Ukraine to our departure, they had everything covered. The constant communication from the team is amazing. All of our paperwork for the embassy was properly prepared and organized. I cannot recommend them enough, we are even thinking about having another baby with DD!
Andrey Frenkel
Thank you very much Dear Oksana, Thank you very much for the great news. We still can't believe it and are totally speechless. The work you do under these difficult conditions cannot be put into words. Thank you very much for that. Liebe Oksana, vielen Dank für die super schöne Neuigkeit. Wir können es noch gar nicht glauben und sind total sprachlos. Was Ihr für eine Arbeit leistet, unter den schweren Bedingungen,  kann man nicht in Worte fassen. Vielen herzlichen Dank dafür.
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Very friendly, pleasant team I am very grateful to the international surrogacy agency Delivering Dreams for such a short period of experience that dispelled all doubts and the remains of incomprehensible questions that were before and during this program, but I had a wonderful curator Lyuba who did not leave me for a second even on distances?❤️ This is how experienced, pleasant, kind woman you want to go to the program at least immediately after finishing the first one! Very friendly, pleasa...
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Thank you for the wonderful experience and the opportunity to help future parents. I also want to thank Lyubov Omelchuk (Delivering Dreams) for her kindness and empathy, she was always in touch throughout the program, especially since the rehabilitation course is based on the supervision and advice of the curator. My worries about the procedure were in vain because everything went perfectly, thanks to the 24/7 support of the curator and qualified doctors Дякую за чудовий досвід, та змогу...
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Angelina
I recommend this agency. I was a surrogate mother in this agency, I really liked everything. The doctors treated me well and explained everything clearly. Curator Lyuba and Anya are always in touch and answer all questions, always supporting. I recommend this agency. Я була сур мама в цьому агентство, мені все дуже сподобалося лікарі гарно відносяться, розповідають все доступно. Куратор Люба і Аня завжди на зв'язку і відповідать на всі запитання, завжди підтримують. Рекомендую це агентство.
Yuliia
Thank you very much for worrying about me.  I really want to start the program at Delivery Dreams agency. The doctors here are extraordinary. Coordinator Lyubov is also extraordinary, always in touch and worries about me. After the hysteroscopy, Lyubochka is on the phone with me 24/7. Thank you very much for worrying about me. I hope that my program will start soon and I will present the baby to the biological parents. Thank you for being there!?? Я дуже хочу почати програму в агенстві De...
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Nastya

Under Ukrainian law, surrogacy is a legal affordable option for traditionally married couples to have children using their own embryos, or with either an egg or sperm donor. There must be a medical reason you can’t carry a child. You are also able to participate if you have had 4 unsuccessful IVF attempts.

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Under Ukrainian law, surrogacy is a legal affordable option for traditionally married couples to have children using their own embryos, or with either an egg or sperm donor. There must be a medical reason you can’t carry a child. You are also able to participate if you have had 4 unsuccessful IVF attempts.